Pay Extra Attention to the Small Red Flags

Used to think the big betrayals were what broke us.

The affair. The slap. The disappearance.

But now I know it’s the small red flags we ignore that do the deepest damage.

It’s in the subtle comments that don’t sit right.

The “that was odd” moment we convince ourselves to overlook.

The way our intuition whispers and we hush it because we don’t want to seem dramatic, needy, or paranoid.

We don’t fall into destruction all at once.

We slip into it, slowly… one ignored nudge at a time.

A Story in Scripture: David and Bathsheba

“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David remained in Jerusalem…”

2 Samuel 11:1

One of the most catastrophic moments in David’s life started with one small detail:

He wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

He stayed behind when kings were meant to go to war, and in that idle space, on that rooftop, he looked and saw Bathsheba.

She was bathing.

She was visible.

And suddenly, the man after God’s own heart let desire outrun discernment.

Was Bathsheba Thinking She’d Be the Only One?

We don’t know her thoughts. However, we see how this kind of story typically unfolds even now.

Bathsheba may have felt chosen.

Desired by someone powerful.

Seen. Noticed. Wanted.

Maybe she thought, “This must mean something. This could be love.”

But love that starts in disorder rarely ends in wholeness.

David took what he wanted. She got swept into the consequences.

And the child that came from that moment died.

This wasn’t just about lust.

It was about ignoring divine timing.

About not being in alignment and ignoring the cost.

Red Flags Aren’t Always Loud

They’re subtle:

• He tells you you’re “not like other women” but also says all his exes were “crazy.”

• He disappears emotionally but blames your attitude when you notice.

• He compliments you in public but corrects you in private.

• He uses God talk to cover ego-driven decisions.

We want to believe we’re different. Special. The one who will fix or save him.

But the same rooftop behaviour often repeats itself because the character underneath hasn’t changed.

We shouldn't Confuse Attention With Intention.

Red flags aren’t about them, they’re about us.

We feel something’s off.

But instead of honouring that feeling, we shrink it. We spiritualise it. We ask God to help us endure what He never told us to entertain.

Let me say this plainly:

We are not called to stay in chaos just to prove we can love deeply.

It’s Not About Blame, It's Called Boundaries.

David should have been at war.

Bathsheba may not have had a voice in that story.

But we do.

We can step back before the spiral starts.

We can ask hard questions.

We can leave even when our heart is still attached.

We don’t have to prove our worth by surviving dysfunction.

What We Learn from the Rooftop

Let that story be your reminder:

• Small compromises lead to heavy consequences.

• Spiritual titles don’t guarantee emotional maturity.

• Feeling chosen doesn’t mean you’re safe.

Pay attention to the tension.

Pay attention to the silence between the red flags.

Pay attention to your nervous system, it remembers what your mind wants to forget.

We Are Still Rising

We have lived through enough pain to know what doesn’t work.

This time, we get to choose differently.

We get to pause.

To pray.

To protect our peace, even from people who speak in tongues.

We are not here to be picked off of rooftops.

We are here to be restored in purpose.

Rise, woman of virtue and reclaim every part of yourself you gave away trying to be the

exception.

Written by: Caroline

Founder, Rise & Reclaim,

#RedFlags #Bathsheba #David #SpiritualDiscernment #FaithAndHealing #HealingOutLoud